Post-Holiday Zombieland

So, I haven't posted a blog in at least a couple of weeks. I haven't even posted on Facebook much lately, which is unusual since I stalk check in pretty regularly.

I think it's the post-holiday boredom. I seriously feel like a zombie. I don't feel sad or unhappy, just very BLAH, like I wish someone would kick me in the vajajay just to get me riled up. I guess I got used to the craziness of the holiday season. Every single day for at least a month, I spent time researching gifts online, going to stores to shop, buying and wrapping gifts, decorating, baking, and being incredibly friggin' jolly. 99% of my spare time was taken up with this stuff. Then, immediately following the holidays (for about a week), it's great. You relax, you're thankful to be done with shopping, and just bask in the holiday glow and gluttony. BUT, then comes the new year. Back to work. No fun to look forward to immediately. Gotta pay off that holiday debt and lose the holiday flab. I don't even get the day off for MLK Day. Thhhbbpppttt.

Mini-Me Doesn't Get Federal Holidays Either

So, these days, I get up begrudgingly, hose off shower, eat breakfast with The Mayor, go to work, hate my job work for 8 hours, pick up little dude from daycare, eat dinner, play Legos, bathe and put The Mayor to bed, sit my ass on couch and drool at the TV for 2 hours, go to bed. Repeat x5. The weekends are, obviously, much better. I don't have to expend time and effort restraining myself from calling my coworkers "douchebag" (this can be very time consuming and draining, really). I can enjoy my time with The Mayor and Ace doing fun stuff, eating good food, and just hanging out.

Frankly, I couldn't even think of a good way to end this post, that's how drooly and zombie-like I am right now. It's amazing I can even drive and dress myself. *sigh* Gotta gotta gotta win that lottery. Cuz I'm pretty sure I wouldn't feel this way if I lived in The Bahamas.

The Death of Empathy

I think I've been spending way too much time lately in parking lots, probably because Christmas was just a few days ago and thus I've been shopping for presents about 22.5 hours a day for the last 3 months. So I realize my observations here may be fueled by over-caffeinated, overspending, lack-of-time frustrations, but I still believe them to be valid. So what I want to know is why people these days treat parking lots like a pedestrian-only zone?!

Almost every time I'm in a parking lot these days (parking my car, as per the parking lot 'How To' guide that is widely available), people are walking directly in the line of traffic, many times paying zero attention to the cars trying to (say it with me) PARK in the PARKING LOT. I'm not saying that pedestrians shouldn't have the right of way. I mean, they're usually slightly smaller and made of less reinforced steel than cars, so it makes sense that cars should yield to them. But people wander, seemingly aimlessly, through the area where cars drive, without notice or care. It's the second part that bothers me the most. Inattention is one thing (although its still annoying and actually pretty dangerous), but complete disregard for other fellow humans in close proximity just drives me crazy. Some folks will even turn and look at you, realize that you're driving 3/4 mph because they're walking at a snail's pace directly in the middle of the driving lane, then turn around and just keep on going. WHY?! Again, I say, WHY?!

I have many theories, most of which would morph this blog post into something either hardcore-rant-like (if it isn't already) or 25,000 words long, so I'll leave most of that for later posts. But my main idea is the lack of empathy and connection we have with our fellow peoples these days. This is obviously not a new idea. We hear it every day.  What's the cause? Facebook and social networking? Cell phones? The internet? Our culture of individualism ("Enough about me, what do YOU think about me?")? I'm sure it's all of these things plus eleventy-billion more. Aside of my parking lot example, I see this issue play out every.single.day in almost every setting. We don't see each other as the valuable, feeling, fragile beings that we ALL are. Tragic, really.

^Nice way to encourage kindness.

I realize that, these days especially, it's apparently cool and hip to be rude, cynical, and uncaring. Since I gave up on trying to be either of these things a long time ago, I try to make it a point every day to empathize with others. While I'm far from perfect, I at least make an effort. If someone is rude at the bank, I try to imagine what might be making them so unhappy as to treat others this way. Or if an elderly person is toddling too slowly through the store, I try to think of how difficult it must make life to have such limited mobility. In many situations, people don't make it easy to empathize, but that just makes it that much more valuable. When someone is rude and, instead of being rude back, you smile at them and ask how their day is going, I bet this will spark a little something positive in this person. 

This is an issue that Ace and I discuss frequently, as we both notice what a problem it seems to be both in our society and many personal relationships (including ours sometimes). Thus, we've made it a priority to teach this habit of being empathetic to The Mayor because, as with so many other behaviors, I believe the parents play the most important role in children understanding how (and why) to empathize with others. I think it will drastically affect the person he becomes in a way that I'm sure I will be proud of one day. 

Oops. I guess I didn't empathize enough with my readers to stop writing 500 words ago. Sorry. 

Not Everyone Can Celebrate

So I mentioned in a prior post that I try to contribute either my time or money to causes when I can. Money is easier, luckily, because I don't have much time to give. (Not to say I have a lot of money, but certainly enough to share some with those in need).

But I got a big slap in the face this morning on my way to work when it hit me how little I have given and how much I have and how selfish I've been this holiday season. I've spent so much time worrying about buying gifts for my family, about baking cookies for my friends and others (who already have food and shelter), about the gifts I want from others, about decorating the house, about spending time with friends....and the list goes on, all relatively selfish things.

This morning I drove by one of those homeless dudes who stands on the street with a sign, begging for money or food or "anything you can spare". Now I drive by this guy, or one like him, every single work day. Sometimes I notice, sometimes I don't. But today, when it was 20 degrees out and I was cozy in my car and drinking my coffee, thinking about all the cookies I was planning to give away and Christmas presents I have to wrap, I suddenly felt very upset with myself for not bringing this guy some cookies.

I've also been feeling sorry for myself lately over so many (now realized) stupid and unimportant things. I've spent too much money on gifts that I shouldn't have. I've been sick twice in the past month. The Mayor has been crabby a lot lately, making things around the house more challenging. Again, the list goes on. But guess what? I forgot to spend time thinking about all the things I DO have and that are wonderful. Even after I just posted about this very thing (being thankful) around Thanksgiving!!! How quickly we/I forget. I have a wonderful home and family. I am warm and healthy during this cold season. I have the clothes and shoes and coats I need. I eat (too much) whenever I want.

Now I don't know if this guy on the street this morning is REALLY homeless. Maybe and maybe not. But even if he's not, someone else is. And that person or family probably doesn't have ANY of the things I mentioned above. And I won't even get started about the other needy people, such as those that may not be homeless but don't have heat or food, those that don't have shoes that fit to wear in the snow, those that are sick and don't have family to take care of them...etc.

So what am I going to do? I haven't yet decided. Just thinking about these people and being sad does nothing for them. I plan to return with an update of what I've done. Something, anything, to make a difference directly to at least one person in need this holiday season.

Update #1: Just wanted to clarify. I'm not saying I do nothing charitable around the holidays. This year, we've given to 2 toy drives, donated $ to the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless, and I frequently give cash and change to the Salvation Army bell ringers and to other various collection points. I guess what I'm looking for is some way to impact a person in need more directly. There's just something so rewarding about touching a person directly, for both parties, I think. I volunteered to cook dinner for 35 children with 3 coworkers in a church basement this summer. It was such a wonderful experience. While I feel donating $ to charity is amazing and 100% necessary for their support, I miss seeing and interacting with the people/animals that those charities support. My biggest problem is time. There are many, many organizations looking for volunteers that I would love to donate my time to like I used to before The Mayor was around. Now these chances are few and far between.

Update #2: BIG, FAT FAIL. So, I got really sick right after I first posted this and was on the couch, miserable, for a few days. And then Christmas day was here and it was insane trying to get all the presents wrapped, the house cleaned up, etc. Long story short, I didn't get to do anything good for another in need (aside of our usual donations). I try to do what I say I'm going to do, but this time it just didn't work out. But I will take a lesson away from this and hopefully remember for the future.