So, I created this blog over a year ago, fully intending to post on it. I just couldn't quite decide what to write about. Should it be funny? Informative? Personal? Am I writing more for others or for myself? I still haven't totally decided these things yet. What keeps running through my head is the old adage "write what you know". That got me thinking today while I was driving for a while, and then a stream of consciousness began that was very inspiring. I'm afraid I won't be able to remember all of it, but this was a start.
I know the most intense love in the world. I know abuse at the hands of men. I know depression and loneliness and heart stopping sadness. I know what it's like to have been an outsider most of my life. I know the unconditional love of a parent. I know extreme physical pain that ends in something wonderful. I know that marriage is now the 2nd hardest thing I've ever done. I know that I can do absolutely anything in the world that I set my mind to. I know that friends can be the most awesome gift or the most toxic relationship. I know that animals should never suffer because of humans. I know that I don't do enough to help others in need. I know that my heart aches immensely for children raised in homes without love, and for the adults they become. I know that I'm grateful to have a husband who loves me through thick and thin, even though I'm so difficult sometimes. I know that I haven't deserved so much of what's been given to me. I also know that I did not cause those things. I know that dogs have more beautiful souls than many humans. I know that politics is disgusting and I want no part of it. I know that always wanting more is so unhealthy, yet I always do. I know how to take care of my body, yet I don't do it. I know that having a child changed the #1 goal in my life, forever. I know that I need to have a more positive outlook on life. I know that people disappoint me constantly, and that's my fault for having high expectations. I know that I am not very good at accepting responsibility for things that happen. I know that I have done awful, immoral things that I will never, ever tell anyone. I know that moving around so much as a child directly caused many of my adult issues. I know that people think I'm confident, even though I'm shrinking on the inside from my insecurities. I know that the oceans move me, and I should've become a marine biologist. I know that writing is a wonderful way to express ourselves. And I know that I worry way too much about what people think about me, which made this very difficult to post.
While I realize this is not necessarily what was meant by "write what you know", its what came to mind and I thought it important enough to write down.
Whew. I was going to continue in another direction for a while, but I think that's enough. More later.