OK, that's partially a lie. When I was ~9, I fell head-first over the handlebars of my bike, going downhill, on a patch of gravel, and landed mouth-first on the road. I ended up in the ER with a ginormous, blimpity lip that did not allow me to close my mouth for around a week (only partially an issue, see I, Mouthbreather).
BUT, I did not get stitches and the only thing close to sympathy I received (other than from my family, who doesn't really count when you're a kid) was the kids at school running from me and calling me a monster.
Yep, that's as awesome as it gets at that age.
Luckily, Ace is much more graceful than I and doesn't constantly look like he fell off a cliff onto a pile of ______ (insert your choice of painful, sharp, burny objects here) . And, thus far, it appears as though Smelly is taking after Daddy. For a little dude of 2 years, he's had very few injuries, especially for a boy, and somehow manages to perch precariously, climb very high, and fall on his head without busting it open like an egg.
Is this not enough to deal with, you may ask?? In addition to the harm
Now. Excuse me while I go and try to lick off the mystery food spot that just magically appeared on my new arm bruise. Ow.